To the Best Friend I Met in College

I never really knew what it was like to have a sister. Growing up an only child I never really knew what it was like to have any kind of siblings. I looked to my parents for my advice, guidance, and overall being as a person. My freshman and sophomore years I kind of kept to myself, but my junior year was unlike the rest. At the end of my sophomore year, I was scrambling to find an apartment where I could have my own room. I always hated being put through the random housing always in fear I would get a weird roommate or girls I didn’t get along with.

                That being said, it was the last day to sign up for housing and I was still scrambling to find a room. One of my current roommates messaged me and said these girls are looking for a 4^th roommate and you can have a single. Without hesitation because I was desperate for a room next year I messaged one of the girls and was instantly assigned to the room with them. I had no idea what I was in for, who they were, or really anything about them but I took the risk anyway. What did I get myself into?

                Move in day came earlier than normal this year and I was so nervous to meet these girls. Only one of them was there when I moved in and she immediately took to my personality and said, “You and our other roommate are going to get along great.” Not knowing what that meant I continued unpacking my things and rearranging my room to what I wanted it to be. The following week I met the other two roommates and boy was the first roommate not kidding when she said we would get along. For weeks we got closer and closer talking about boys and country songs and music, everything that I loved to talk about, so did she.

                Looking back now as graduation is quickly approaching and she continually removes clothing, pictures and other decorations from her room, I knew I did not only gain a lifelong friend but a sister. Living with you for the past 8 months has been nothing but hell, just kidding what an experience it was. Although you were only there for three nights a week, we always tried to make it the best. Whether it was late night runs to frozen yogurt or making cookies after practice, we always made our times fun.

                Thank you for being my best friend and always letting me vent to you with my problems. I do not know how I would have gotten by this year without you here. You drive me up the walls sometimes but I’ll never forget you. You will never get rid of me so you know because I just bought our tickets to Dierks Bentley!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love you long time. 

Sincerely,

So The Truth Speaks

To The One That Left...

For a while after you left, I felt broken, ashamed, embarrassed, but at the same time relieved. For three years I lost my voice, my will, my drive. You completely tore me apart and I never knew it until now. This note will not be about me blaming you for everything, but more about what you did to my future.

I was a prisoner of your own selfish game, you kept me around for your dirty work for what, to make you happy. I will never understand how someone can be content with themselves after physically and mentally abusing their girlfriend. I thought you loved me, cared about me, and for that being my first relationship, first love, you completely ruined it for the rest.

My friends knew what you did, your friends knew what you did, your own parents knew what you were doing to me, but no I’m the one that had to lie to everyone, my parents especially about all the bruises, all the black eyes, fat lips and for what? To protect you?

I will never truly understand why I did that for you. Why would I protect someone that never cared about me to begin with? Still now, I look back and wonder what I could have done differently. What else could I have done to avoid the black eyes? What else could I have done to make the fingerprints around my biceps disappear? What else? I blamed myself for so long, that it was my fault that I said or did something to upset you to deserve it. See what you did. I was forced to take it every time because I knew if I tried to stand up for myself, if I tried to fight back, I was only going to make things worse and make the pain last a little bit longer.

Growing up I had no idea I would be one of those individuals. And when I became one, I had no idea that I would just sit there and take it. I used to be strong and fight for what I believed in, what I wanted but no, I learned that doing as I was told, was the best possible answer for me. Writing this makes me sick to my stomach, but it was something that had to be done. Today especially gave me the drive to do so, its been a little over two years since we departed.

For anyone going through this situation, your friends will be there for you there for you through all of it. They will never agree with your decision but will always be there to cheer you up after. But to you, I hope you get the help you need as the truth did eventually come out to everyone and your parents got to see everything. They saw it the night we ended things, as your own father had to hold you back from coming at me again. In a sense, I almost wish you did that night. Nobody was ever around when you did the things you did to me. Your own parents sat upstairs many of the times you had your hands around my throat.

I don’t want this all to be about me bashing you for what you did to me because I have been doing so much better since you left. I got my voice and my old friends back and have made so many new ones. There will probably never be a day where you don’t cross my mind but minutes are turning into seconds and the seconds are getting shorter and shorter. I really wish you could have changed, not for me but for yourself, because I would hate for someone to go through what I did. And it is incredibly sad to know that so many people go through that every day.

But today, I am happy. Today I woke up, got dressed and went to class with a smile on my face. Went to lunch with my friends and ended up going on a hike. So please although you probably don’t think about what you did, I hope you know I will never forget it. We had a lot of highs during those three years, but in the end the bad doubled the good. There’s still a lot of life left for us, we were young and so incredibly stupid, but that’s a part of growing up. One day I hope you find the help you need or your parents finally help you in doing so, but for now, I hope you live because as much as I am free, so are you.

Sincerely,
So The Truth Speaks

To The Best Friend That Said I Changed

There comes a time in life where you just want to escape and possibly try to be someone else. That was the case for me that is, a fresh start, where nobody knew my name. When I graduated, I decided to go to a school hours away from my home town. For once in my life, I wanted to go somewhere where nobody knew me, nobody knew my past, and I could just change entirely. That is a hard thing for an only child to do that is extremely shy, let me tell you. So, just like that, I packed up my room and never looked back. I left a lot of people behind, especially my best friend. 

Slowly we drifted apart and spoke less and less but every time we would hang out when I was home for a few days, it felt like we were never apart. One of my favorite quotes is "No matter how much time has passed best friends pick up where they left off." I would only be home for a little while so we really never got much time to catch up as I would want to see others as well. At the end of the weekend, back to school I went. Surprisingly. I ended up transferring schools closer to home but that did not change much between our friendship. We began to hang out more and more and I suddenly realized I had no idea who this person was anymore. She was not the fun spirited best friend I had my final year of High School with, NOPE, she was everything she said she would never become. When we finally began constantly hanging out, she would continuously say how I've changed and how I was a totally different person and I never really saw how. In my eyes I took 100 steps forward and she took a million back.

There are still days when I look back to high school photos and the summer before I left and its hard to remember who we both were back then. We both changed but I only saw one changing for the better. You will always be my best friend and I will support you in all of your endeavors but not the ones I know you should not be a part of.

If any of you have this problem, just remember after High School individuals become adults and are finally free from parents. Some want to experiment the real world while others want to grow up and begin planning their lives. Either way, just be happy with whatever you do, we all grow up someday.

Sincerely,

So The Truth Speaks

Who is So The Truth Speaks?

Hey Everyone!

I created this blog to help my fellow community dealing with problems or to ask questions they may have about their own life. Weekly and occasionally twice a week I will be posting about experiences I've had to try to help out others. Please e-mail sothetruthspeaks@gmail.com with questions or experiences you may need help with! As I am anonymous, I will still do the best I can to connect with my viewers.

Looking forward to speaking with a lot of you.

Sincerely,
So The Truth Speaks